Written by Umara Qureshi
Umara Qureshi is a passionate and values-driven Head of School with a proven track record of securing strong outcomes across a range of settings—including the successful launch of a start-up school. Deeply committed to equity, inclusion, and social justice, she believes in the transformative power of education to change lives. Umara leads with integrity, fosters cultures of high expectation and belonging, and champions staff development, pupil voice, and ambitious opportunities for all learners.
Growing up as a British ethnic minority girl in south east England in the 1990s, I was oblivious to my dual nationality, my ethnicity being a minority and that I essentially lived in two different worlds.
And it was with great ease that I transitioned from one world to the other. I was able to behave according to the expectations of the community I found myself in and it was absolutely natural to adapt etiquette and lifestyle. Being able to adjust and adapt into two contrasting cultures and societies was automatic. It was absolutely normal to have two identities. It was and is so easy to switch either on or off or fuse the two together. And I believe that is the beauty of having two faces to a coin.
During adolescence, I was lucky enough to be around peers from a similar background. My culture was accepted. As teenagers, I explored and shared cultures with my friends from different ethnic backgrounds and we celebrated our identities. It was normal for us to be different. I think that’s the beauty of growing up in Luton. As I grew up, there were more cultures I was exposed to. It was lovely just meeting them and getting to know them, and sharing our cultures and celebrating our differences.
The ease of social and cultural fluidity became a burden as the issue of identity and the social pressure increased into adulthood. And I don’t think that’s inevitable. I think it’s perceptive. Social media is the greatest platform for people to express their identity issues and exposure to such material festers insecurity. Movies like ‘Bend It Like Beckham ‘ exacerbate identity crises as they focus on the dilemmas that not belonging to one culture can create and portray it as a hindrance. It loudly suggests that holding onto traditional culture will hold girls back from fantastic careers. This is untrue and an injustice to ethnic minorities. Unknowingly you develop a perception of having the same inferiority that others express, regardless of your own experiences and successes. I only realised how I feel about these portrayals when I watched it with my daughter and saw the seeds of identity crisis being sown with adult eyes. The need to impress, be like others around and the desire to not be different becomes prevalent and feeds the identity issue.
I was lucky enough to have many role models giving me the confidence to continue celebrating my ethnicity, nationality and culture but I met lots of people from the same background as me, who weren’t proud of it and who didn’t like it. I even know people who say that they have no ethnicity and they don’t consider themselves to have any ethnicity. I can’t pretend that I didn’t feel the burden and pressure too. The pressure to be the same as others puts doubts in your mind and it makes you think that you’ve drawn the short straw because you face challenges around your identity. Feeling as though you don’t fit in with people around you and you are looking at one particular group and wondering why you couldn’t have just been like them so that you didn’t have to face these challenges. However, I believe that we’re very lucky to have two sides. The beauty of being British Asian, is that you’ve got a double identity, you’re not two halves. I think that’s looking at the glass being half empty, when in fact, the glass is doubly full.
The greatest assumption that people make is that all British people lead the same lifestyle and that’s not true. Within British communities, individuals do not all do the same things. And there is not an expectation for every British person to fit a stereotypical, specific lifestyle to be accepted or successful. I believe that this is the biggest misconception. Even if you do not do things in the same way as others around you it does not hinder you in leading a successful life.
The key points for me are that we have additional lifestyle choices, lifestyle events, skills, languages, culture, processes, emotions, personal family links and social attributes stemming from our ethnic background that enhance us as people and do not limit us.
We have our ethnic background and we also have a British background. We can pick, choose, fuse and innovate. So we’ve got more to our lives, not less. Having these two identities has doubled our life experiences, not halved it. We’re not torn between two worlds, we are spread across two worlds. Not everyone has this option. It is an existence to celebrate, not to be conflicted about. We shouldn’t be conflicted. We should recognise that we do have more to offer. We have a lot more to offer as we’re always steering the way on this newly paved pathway and balancing the vast knowledge, experience, pleasures, perks, broad mindedness, inclusivity and diversity. We need to recognise the potential that we have. Stop being a coin with two faces, embrace your potential and become three dimensional.
We have greater potential being multi-faceted. Having this rich ethnic / nationality is a combination that makes our life doubly wholesome.
The empty deserts sun scorched surface
In the moonlight is tormented by a cold menace
How blissful the union of the sun and moon could be
The immense respite and relief it could bring
The vibrance of the butterfly is unknown in the cocoon
Emergence from confinement allows the beauty to bloom
How proud, bold and brave it has to be
Its display and its presence makes the natural world sing